| Imagine the look on your boss's face when he opens his package to find a healthy supply of laxatives and a professionally produced letter clearly stating just how full of shit he is. Maybe your girlfriend has bad breath. Don't want to say anything? Let US do that! We can be kind as well as nasty, and in no time your sweetie will be kissing fresh and you won't be in the doghouse either. Mother-in-law problems? We have a special department just for that. Maybe some Preparation H for the old gal will calm her down. A cheating significant other? Why not a pack of condoms to go along with the nastygram? We'll even put pinholes in each one, if that's what you want. Just let us know and we can accommodate. |
| Is your boss on your case again? Is your wife stepping out with her tango instructor? Is your neighbor giving you a hard time? Well, you're the lamest crybaby we've ever seen -- get with it, you wimp! Use our totally anonymous service and stand up to these fucknozzles while hiding your identity from them, like a man!!! (or woman) We're here to help, damn it! At Neil 'n' Bob, we pride ourselves on providing the highest quality service, regardless of whether a prank is large or small. We believe people deserve compensation for injuries caused by the wrongdoing of others with some serious gags in a totally professional way. What we do is use the US Postal Service to deliver an insult letter accompanied by a product of your own choosing to drive the point home. All we need is the name and address of the person you want to insult, your choice of letter and product, and we will take care of the rest. Total anonymity on your part -- plus you get to see their reaction, because we let you know when your mark will receive the package. That's it! The prank is set in motion, and all you have to do is observe and relish the idea that you just ruined this butt-head's day. With Neil 'n' Bob, payback is just an e-mail away We live in changing times, folks. No longer can you call a fellow workmate, a corporate member or your neighbor a butthead without getting either fired, getting a sexual harassment charge or terroristic threats charged against you. Political correctness, corporate sensitivies and "individual rights" are making this a boring world filled with cry-babies calling the shots. Isn't it about time we take back our God-given rights and express ourselves like real men by telling some of these butt-sniffers where to get off? |
| Tired of the same old shit? Well, get off your ass, loser. It's payback time! |
| Gone are the days of just calling someone a 'dickhead.' Come ON -- that is lame! Check out our vast selection of perfect jabs, and you'll never be at a loss for just the right slam! |
| Why call someone an asshole, when you can call them a sorry, stinking, useless, cum-stain on the bedspread of life -- AND send them a container of deodorant to help them clean up their act! |
| 'Dear Mr. Bill --- I have taken just about enough from you. You are the biggest cum-lapping scumbag on this part of the earth, and you must be a product of pig-faced incestuous circus hermaphrodites... Bite Me .... Anonymous |
| a small sample paragraph |
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| You're almost there! |
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| It's redundant |
| It's fresh |
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