Step One:
Select the item you want to send with your insult.
We shouldn't have to explain this part, but for those of you who are hygiene illiterate, here goes:

Deodorant is for people who just, plain, stink.

Mouthwash is for people whose mouth is like an open sewer.

Ex-Lax is for those who are just so full of shit.

Preparation H is for the treatment of irritating assholes.

Condoms are for fucknozzles, sperm banks and for those who like to turn you over and do ya dry.
Step Two
Select or write the insult letter of your dreams!
Yeah, that's right -- the insult letter of your dreams. How often do you have the chance to tell that special somebody off? When was the last time you told your boss his sister orgasms with barnyard animals? How often do you get to tell that teacher who gave you a "D" on your last report card that they smell like an elephant's butt?  Our guess is NOT OFTEN ENOUGH!

Well, now's your chance to go all out with that imaginative tongue of yours and dredge up some verbal sludge for that Denebrian slime devil who's making your life a living hell.
On to the form!
Got a problem coming up with a good insult? Let the Insult Guru help. Click my face and travel through space to my insult place.
Step Three
Fill out the form!
This should be self-explanatory. Just be sure the name and address of your mark is included. Don't have a physical address? Send it to where they work so their associates can share in the fun. (Maybe WE should get the deodorant!)
Step Four
Pay for the damned thing
Hey, ya think a quality service like this is free? What planet do YOU come from? We take you by the hand, help you write a kick-ass insult letter and even find an address where your victim lives.  And we make it nice and easy for you with help from the good folks at Paypal. It's $9.99 and pretty damn cheap, if ya ask us.

Ok, you're psyched-- your blood's up-- you're on a roll, baby!
  What are you waiting for?
"May the fleas of 10,000 camels nest in your armpits."
Ayatollah of Rockinrollah
Can't find your victims address? We know where you're coming from. You have the victim but you can't find a proper address, right? Well, we solved that problem for you, too. Just  Click here.